Walk Like a Man
by Xtina Jones
Summary: Jackson Samuel Austen didn’t like his daddy when he was drunk. Actually, he didn’t like his daddy when he wasn’t drunk either...This story is kinda AU and includes Sawyerbashing.One of the main characters is an OC and there's Jate later
1. Chapter 1

This is the first part of story in a series of stories that are inspired by songs. I got a really weird idea for a Lost story from this song so idk how it's gonna end up, but review and let me know.

Song is "Walk Like a Man" by Tim McGraw

Don't own song or show, but Jackson is my character

In the fights they had he'd cover up his ears  
Thought big boys don't cry, fought back all the tears  
Mama'd use her make up, to hide the bruises on his face  
In the morning they'd pretend that there'd never ever been a trace 

Jackson Samuel Austen didn't like his daddy when he was drunk. Actually, he didn't like his daddy when he wasn't drunk either. He wasn't really sure if Sawyer was his daddy, 'cause he sure didn't act like one. His momma always called Sawyer his daddy so he just went along with it. They didn't look too much alike, but he was too young to notice.

At this particular moment, Jackson was hiding under his bed. He could hear Sawyer stumbling and cursing his way down the hall, and desperately hoped he'd be too drunk to find him under the bed. Suddenly his shadow fell across the floor, and he took a few more shuffling steps before falling on to Jackson's bed.

Jackson remained motionless under the bed, holding his breath in case Sawyer was just waiting for him to come out. After a few minutes he heard snores coming from above, and he decided it was safe to crawl out from under the bed. Thankfully there'd be no bruises tonight.

Crawling army-style out of his room, he slipped down the hall to his momma's room. She was curled up facing the wall and he could hear her sniffling.

"Momma?" he whispered. "Sawyer's asleep now. You can get up."

She sat up and turned toward Jackson, quickly wiping her eyes.

"Come here Jacky," his momma said, and he obediently climbed up onto the rickety bed.

"Are you ok?" she asked, as she sat him in her lap.

"Yes m'am," he replied bravely.

"How many times do I have to tell you that Sawyer is your daddy?"

"Sorry momma," the boy said, his head dropping downwards.

"I know it doesn't seem like it sometimes, but he loves us both. Do you understand?"

"Yes m'am," he whispered.

"You can stay with me tonight," she said, smiling at him. "Go turn out the light so you can get some rest for your first day of school tomorrow."

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	2. Chapter 2

His old man woke him up to help him find the car  
Take the bus uptown outside some rundown bar  
And swore that he was quittin  
And then he'd start to cry  
And though the boy knew the truth  
Sometimes he'd still believe that lie 

It was the summer before first grade when Jackson's daddy woke him up in the middle of the night. He grabbed him out of bed roughly and led him down the hall. They went out into the cool summer night, Jackson in only his boxers and his daddy in shorts and a stained wife beater. They went down the street to the bus stop and waited in the dark until it arrived.

Jackson didn't know where they were going, and he was kinda scared, Sawyer had never done this before. After about 20 minutes they pulled up at a bar that was still open. Sawyer yanked him from the seat and shoved him out the bus door.

"Wait here," he said gruffly before walking into the bar.

The bus pulled away and Jackson sat down where he had been left by Sawyer. It was cold out and he had no jacket. His teeth began to chatter and he wrapped his little arms tighter around his body.

About half an hour later, his daddy came staggering from the bar holding the keys to the family's rundown car.

"Get up, boy," he ordered.

Jackson stood up as quickly as possible and followed Sawyer to the car.

"Get in."

Jackson buckled up in the back seat and closed his eyes tightly as the car sped out of the parking lot and down the road. He didn't know how they made it home in one piece, but they did. Sawyer tumbled out of the car and then slowly made his way into their small house, but Jackson didn't get out. Instead he curled up in the back seat and asked God why he had Sawyer as a daddy and if there was any way he could get a new one.

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	3. Chapter 3

When the sins of the father are the sins of the son  
All you do is crawl when you wanna run  
And God gave boys their mamas cause  
They always see their promise  
And they help them understand  
How to walk like a manJackson was woken up about an hour later by the sounds of yelling coming from the house. He lifted his head in time to see his momma coming out of the house with a duffle bag in one hand and the other slamming the screen door on Sawyer. She ran to the car, got in the driver's seat, turned to tell him to buckle up, and then reversed out of the driveway as fast as she could.

It wasn't until they had driven through two towns that Jackson dared to speak.

"Where are we going?" he asked quietly.

His momma pulled the car over and climbed into the backseat next to him. Resting her chin on his shortly cut dark hair, she rocked him back and forth before answering.

"Somewhere far away from that man."

"What happened momma?"

She looked down at him and Jackson wondered if his momma was going to cry. She normally didn't cry in front of him, so Jackson squeezed her hand.

"It's ok momma. Let's keep driving."

"You're such a brave, caring boy," she said to him, smiling. "Just like your father," she added quietly.

Jackson heard the last part, but he pretended he hadn't. When they finally stopped at a motel and his momma was asleep next to him, he whispered, "Thank you God. I knew I had a real daddy, a better daddy."

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	4. Chapter 4

They moved a lot of places, they never settled down  
It got pretty old being the new kid in town  
He always told his friends, my daddy's sick today  
Said he'd be rich if he had a nickel every time he heard his mama say  
The sins of the father are the sins of the son  
Crawl before you walk, boy  
Walk before you run  
Come on, stand up straight, I'm proud of you  
Take my hand  
I know you can  
Walk like a man

Jackson sat at the kitchen table mixing the cereal in his bowl. He didn't want to go to school today. This was his third new school in a year and he was always nervous the first day.

"Eat your cereal Jacky. You're going to be late if you don't hurry," his momma said, sitting next to him at the small table.

"I don't wanna go to school. I'm sick of moving all the time. Why can't we just stay in one place or go and find my real daddy?"

His momma didn't answer him for a long time. Jackson just sat there, staring into his cereal and hoping his momma wasn't angry. When she finally spoke, her voice sounded tired and sad.

"Jackson Samuel Austen," she began, sighing. "I guess it's time you know the truth. You deserve to know about your real father. And I'm sorry we keep moving, but I'm trying to keep us away from Sawyer and I'm too afraid to see your real father. I guess it's about time we went to see him though, you need a real man in your life."

"Can you tell me about him?" Jackson asked, scooting his chair closer.

His momma smiled at him and said, "I guess you won't be going to school today. Let's go sit on the couch."

Jackson leapt up and ran to the ratty coach, plopping down on one of the misshapen cushions.

"Well let's see, where should I begin?"

"Tell me everything!" Jackson said excitedly.

"Your father's name is Jack Shephard. I named you after him. Jackson is 'Jack's son.' He's a spinal surgeon. He's always taking care of other people before himself, just like you. You look exactly like him."

His momma stopped for a moment and dabbed her eyes before continuing, "I met your father on an island. We were on the same plane traveling to California and it crashed on this island. We never thought we were going to be rescued, but one day boats came and brought us back to Australia. I fell in love with your father on that island, but when we got back to the real world I had to leave him. I was afraid he wouldn't want to be with me since I was pregnant with you. Sawyer offered to take care of me, and I thought I loved him and that everything would be ok. After you were born though, things went downhill. And when he took you out to that bar in the middle of the night and drove home drunk with you in the car…"

His momma stopped again and took a deep breath. She pulled him closer and hugged him tight. "I could've lost you that night Jackson. What kind of mother allows her son to be put in a dangerous situation? Sawyer didn't love you and I didn't love Sawyer. He hurt both of us Jackson. Your father would never have done that to us and I'm sorry I didn't let you grow up with him in your life."

"Can we go see him momma?" Jackson pleaded.

"Well…I didn't want to tell you, but he lives in this town I think. If I can find out where he lives maybe we'll visit tomorrow."

Jackson was quiet for a while; he had to process all the information his momma had just told him. Later that night when his momma was tucking him in, he had something important to ask her.

"Momma?"

"Yes Jacky?"

"Do you think daddy will love me?"

"Of course he will. If he knew about you he'd love you so much without even meeting you. Don't you worry. When he meets you tomorrow he'll be so happy."

"I'm scared momma."

"It'll be ok. Go to sleep."

"Night momma."

"Goodnight Jackson."

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	5. Chapter 5

Your daddy's demons are callin' your name  
Don't you listen to them cause they've got no claim  
Temptations may come, that ain't no sin  
You get stronger every time that you don't give in

Jackson sat in the backseat of his momma's car waiting for her to come back out and get him. They were parked in front of a nice two-story apartment with a small yard in the front. His momma had nervously knocked on the door and gone in about half an hour ago. To Jackson it felt like forever.

As he was sitting there getting worried, his momma came out to the car. She smiled at him as she opened the door. She crouched down to his level and asked, "Are you ready to meet your father Jackson?"

"I dunno momma. Did you tell him about me? What if he doesn't like me?"

"He's waiting for you inside. He can't wait to meet you. He loves you already, just like I told you he would. Go on in and see him, I'll be right behind you."

Jackson slowly got out of the car and walked up to the front door that had been left open. He paused before going in and glanced back at his momma. She pushed him forward, encouraging him to continue. He stepped into the house and looked around. A man sitting on a nice black couch quickly stood up and turned to look at him. Jackson watched the man wearily as he came toward him.

The man cleared his throat before speaking. "You must be Jackson," he said, extending his hand for a handshake.

Jackson timidly nodded and stuck out his hand. The man's hand wasn't rough like Sawyer's, and he looked Jackson in the eye and smiled at him.

"I'm Jack," the man said. "I'm your…" the man began, but he seemed sad to Jackson. The man started crying and Jackson didn't know what to do.

"I'm sorry," the man finally said. "It's just…you're such a handsome young man and I love you so much. Come here."

Jackson did as he was told and stepped closer to the man. The man squatted down so that he and Jackson were face to face.

"Jackson, I know this must be as hard for you as it is for me, and if you don't want me to I understand, but could I give you a hug?"

Jackson nodded and allowed the man to embrace him. At first Jackson felt awkward hugging this semi-stranger, but after a few seconds he felt safe and loved. He hugged the man tighter and buried his face in his chest. The man ruffled his hair and Jackson looked up at him. The man was crying again, but he seemed happy. Then he started laughing and he scooped Jackson up, swinging him into the air. When he brought Jackson back into his arms he smiled and said, "I love you Jackson Samuel Austen. You're Jack's son. You're my son and I love you."

Jackson decided right then and there that he liked this man. He smiled at the man and said, "I love you too Daddy." Then he hugged the man and fell asleep in his arms.

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	6. Chapter 6

The sins of the father are the sins of the son  
You can't undo what has been done  
You'll have to retrace his footsteps  
Through the sand  
And walk on  
Walk like a man

Jackson woke up in a strange bed in a strange room. He looked frantically around the room for his mother or something familiar, but saw nothing. He got out of bed and padded down the dark hallway to a room at the end of the hall. Light was shining underneath the door and he slowly turned the knob. He poked his head in the room and saw his daddy sitting on a bed.

"Jackson?" his daddy said, turning toward the door. "What's wrong? Are you ok? Do you need anything?" his daddy asked, getting up from the bed.

"Where's momma?" Jackson asked.

"She went back to your house to get some of your things so you can stay here for a few days. If you want. You don't have to."

"I want to," Jackson replied quickly.

His daddy smiled. "You can stay in the room you were just sleeping in. I can paint it for you so when you come to visit it can be your room. And I can get you some toys and whatever else you want."

Jackson got excited at his daddy's last comment. He looked over to his daddy's bed and noticed a bunch of pictures piled on it.

"What pictures are you looking at daddy?" he asked, climbing onto the bed to get a better look. His daddy sat down and put Jackson in his lap.

"These are pictures of you that your mother gave me to look at. I need to catch up on the 6 years of your life that I missed."

Jackson sat with his daddy looking at the pictures of him and his momma. He noticed that Sawyer wasn't in any of them, which made him happy.

"Daddy?"

"Yes son?"

"Why didn't you ever come and get me and momma?"

His daddy sighed and sat Jackson on the bed so that he was facing him.

"I wanted to come find you, but your mother told me that I'd be better off staying away from her. It was hard for me to do because I love your mother so much, and I tried to find her many times. She's a hard woman to find though, and after about 2 years I gave up. Every day I thought about your mother and I prayed that she was all right wherever she was. Now I know that she had you to take care of her all those years. I'm glad you're such a good boy."

His daddy ruffled his hair and Jackson laughed. He had another important question to ask his daddy.

"Daddy, can me and momma live here with you? I like it here. I don't wanna have to keep running away from Sawyer. It's safe here. You could beat up Sawyer and then momma wouldn't be so worried all the time."

His daddy laughed but then his face got serious. He looked Jackson in the eye and said, "Listen to me closely Jackson. As long as I live I will protect you. I promise you that Sawyer will never touch you or your mother ever again, even if it means I have to kill him and go to jail. You deserve to be happy Jackson. You deserve a father that loves you. I want to be that for you, if you'll give me a chance. I would love for you and your mother to live here because then we could be a real family, but I don't think your mother is ready yet."

"I'm ready!" Jackson exclaimed. "You're my daddy and I wanna live with you! If you love momma and she loves you, why can't we live together?"

At that moment they heard the front door open. Then they heard Kate come quietly up the steps and walk into Jackson's empty room. A moment later she shouted, "Jack! Jack! Where's Jackson?" Seconds later she burst into the room to find Jackson and his father sitting on the bed, both wearing the same troubled expression.

"Jackson Samuel Shephard! Don't you scare me like that ever again!" his momma said, coming over to the bed and pulling him to her.

"I'm sorry momma. I didn't know where you were so I went to see daddy and we were talking. I didn't mean to scare you. Please don't be upset. Are you gonna stay with me at daddy's house?"

His momma looked from him to his daddy then back again. "I guess I'll stay tonight at least, but you should have some time alone with your father."

"Ok momma. Daddy said he'd keep us safe from Sawyer. Maybe we should stay here and be a family."

His momma got a sad look on her face. "Jackson, we can't just invite ourselves to stay at Jack's house. You can visit him whenever you want, but we're not living here."

Now Jackson was sad. He wanted to live with his daddy and his momma. He wanted to have a real family where the parents loved each other and their children. His momma wouldn't let him have what he wanted most in the world. He wriggled out of her arms and stood angrily in front of her.

"It's your fault we had to live with Sawyer. It's your fault I didn't have a daddy. You ran away from daddy even though he loves you. Why'd you do it momma? You ruined everything!"

Then Jackson ran down the hall to his room and slammed the door.

As I was writing this it got really long and I have more to the story so review and let me know what you think or give me some ideas thanks!

Review please!


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